Toilet Paper   Leave a comment

white toilet paper

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You can imagine my stress level soaring to new heights when I received a text message from my wife during the height of a panic season surrounding this pandemic. It read, “Hey honey. I need you to go to the store because we’re out of toilet paper.” There have been countless posts, text conversations, emails, and news stories about people hoarding toilet paper over a virus that doesn’t necessarily cause it’s stockpiling to be required.

So I ventured out like the faithful husband I am and went to the local warehouse store where we are members. After scouring the parking lot for a cart, I wiggled my way inside the store and made a bee-line for the place I was sure would have empty pallets surrounded by crying husbands on the same errand as I. But, Oh Glorious Day! Before me was a pallet half-full of packages of the beautiful paper and no line, no elbows being thrown, and no crying husbands to console or relate with.

After scoring my prize I picked up a couple of other necessities like milk, hot dog buns, and wine. You know, life’s basic needs. Then I worked up the courage to discern the checkout line system. This was a delirious array of people and carts weaving in and out of aisles and rows in fascinating coordination. I found an end to one line after 12-minutes of asking confused people who mostly did not know if they were in a line or not.

Knowing we were all going to be best friends in the remaining hour or so while working our way to a register, I struck up a conversation with the couple in front of me. They were quite friendly and refreshingly calmer than the husbands I encountered who still had not discovered their treasured papers in aisle 47. The topic of conversation was easy, “How are you dealing with this pandemic?” We chatted about everything from cruise ships to concern for healthcare workers to toilet paper to prayer. Their idea was to recite the Lord’s Prayer twice while washing their hands.

That’s a great idea. Many folks are singing while scrubbing like their skin is an enemy. There are new songs being written for this occasion that are silly or instructional or both. Many are also singing favorite hymns, praise songs or other favorite tunes or making up their own songs as they wash. About the only thing I have yet to hear is people singing Weird Al songs while scrubbing. Maybe they giggle too much while singing and all of their soap falls off.

The concept of prayer, regardless of what prayer, is what strikes me as a good idea. You can pray for your family, your friends, your neighbors, healthcare workers, people dealing with the disease as victims,  or families who have lost loved ones in this tragedy. You can pray for areas of the world who do not have resources to deal with it, leaders trying to promote calm, and the idiot in line behind you who somehow senses the need to purchase 6-years worth of TP. He really isn’t an idiot – this is just his way of reacting. He’s ok. He’s probably a husband whose wife sent his text in ALL CAPS.

Either way, prayer is always a good idea. So pray. Your hands and your heart will appreciate it no matter how much toilet paper you have in your linen closet.

Posted March 14, 2020 by David N. Peppler, Sr. in Uncategorized

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